Shared Parenting Plans
Having a shared parenting plan can be very useful for parents and children. Mediation is perfect to arrange this if you cant communicate
Having a shared parenting plan can be very useful for parents and children. Mediation is perfect to arrange this if you cant communicate
Given the rising rates at which parents are separating and divorcing, the government, as well as the CMS, are tirelessly looking for new ways to make sure that the life of the child is unaffected and that both of the parents remain relevant in the child’s life.
One of the ways that have been tried and is doing pretty well is the shared parenting plan. While this has been proven to have quite a great deal of advantages, not many parents are aware of it and as such not many have tried the option. The simplicity it offers is ideal not only for the child but also for the parents.
There are two types of shared parenting plans. In one which is also the most common, the child gets to spend equal amounts of time at each of the parent’s house.
They will start by being in one parent’s house, and when it is time to go to the other parent, their child is taken there.
There another type of shared parenting plan is known as the Bird’s Nest’ the child does not have to move from one place to another. Instead, they are put in a common home where the parents take turns when it is their time to stay with the child.
In this case, the child does not have to go through the changing environments and instead has a constant home while the parents are the ones that alternate between their residents and the common home where the child is staying.
In most cases, the handover is not ceremonious especially if the parents are on good terms and don’t have an issue with contact. However, if they do hold a grudge, they can make arrangements where during the handover they do not have to make contact.
The one thing that is most efficient in this case is picking the child up from school. This way they don’t have to come in contact since the child will be dropped off by one parent and picked up by the other.
The other alternative to this is to make use of a mediator who in this case is a trusted individual like say the child’s grandparents or any other immediate relatives. The child can be dropped off at the home of the mediator where the switch takes place without any of the parents ever meeting.
One of the primary beneficiaries of this form of parenting is the child, and this is even better considering that the well-being of the child is what is primarily considered.
To begin with, with this type of parenting, the child is not deprived of their need to have a family and the need to be nurtured by both of the parents. In short, the child’s family life is not cut short.
It also helps to reassure the child that both parents are still very active parents in their life even though they’re living in separate houses and that he has a home at either of their houses.
This type of parenting also helps to eliminate the thought of there being an active parent while the other one is redundant. Both parents in this setting have equal responsibility and as such one does not seem to be trying to abscond duty by simply paying child support.
In this type of setting the responsibility of the child lies squarely on both parents. This means that either of the parents is responsible for the child’s discipline as much as they are responsible for their happiness.
This helps to do away with the thought of one of the parents being a fun’ parent.
Instead of the usually limited contact that most of the other parenting plans offer, shared parenting plan ensures that either of the parents can keep and long and meaningful relationship with their child.
They can follow their progress actively as opposed to doing the same from the stands.
In this kind of arrangement, both of the parents are assured of their importance in the life of their young one and as such are encouraged to cooperate and work together to ensure the well-being of the child and support each other in the process.
Instead of the resident parent being the one to deal with agencies like the school or doctors, both parents are offered the equal chance to be able to do this.
Furthermore, each of the parents has the ability to take the child for holidays and spend some quality time together.
It also helps to ensure the child that each of the parents, is able and willing to provide for them and even in the demise of one of the parents, the child knows that they have a stable home that they can go to and someone that they can depend on.
Just like in any other set up, there are some challenges that shared parenting plan faces that might tend to make it slip. However, there are some ways that one can follow to make sure that they give it the best chance.
The child’s interests have to come first, and the child prioritized before anything else. It is also important to let the child have a voice as to how the arrangements are made overtime.
The parents should exercise flexibility in the arrangement and be supportive of each other. It is vital to put any bitterness aside to make sure that they can get the best results for the child.
It is also important to make sure that the child can feel settled and utterly comfortable at either of the parent’s homes.
For parents that might not know what more should be done, the CMS is a great resource that can help them with the regulations as well as the arrangements if you’re having any trouble with the same.
General information about Mediation, Please click the links below to find out more info:
Family’s are deeply affected by divorce or separation, especially when there are children in the family. Often these painful situations can be helped with the aid of a mediator who will hold a Mediation Intake Assessment Meeting or MIAM. MIAMs can soothe ruffled feelings and ensure that communal assets are divided equally, make sure that financial obligations of both parents are laid out and help to make the break as easy as possible for all the members of the family.
When attending a court proceeding on the matter, the family will need to present an FM1 (Family Mediation 1 form) which confirms that a MIAM has been held.
As of April 2014, significant changes were made to the judicial system regarding separation and divorces, particularly where children were involved. These changes ensure that the welfare of the children is paramount, with minimal impact on the children and as little negativity as possible. One of the major changes was a requirement for a mediation session or MIAM to be attended before any court proceedings to do with financial or custody matters (hence the need for a FM1 to be produced).
If the split is acrimonious and both parties find it difficult to be in the same room, as would happen with face to face mediation, it is possible to ask for shuttle mediation.
Shuttle sessions happen when the two parties are seated in separate rooms and the mediator shuttles between the two, discussing issues and offering solutions.
Shuttle mediation is often a good solution with distance between the parties allowing for rational and reasoned thinking.
Mediation sessions are now a legal requirement, and your ex’s lawyer will make this clear to him or her.
Offering shuttle mediation, in which they will not have to share a room while coming to an agreement, is sometimes a way to make the thought of mediation more palatable.
Mediators can also help with will disputes: resolving issues between heirs and coming to an acceptable compromise in the event that the will is ambiguous or unclearly worded.