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When you have children and separate from your partner then sometimes life can be complicated as you might both have different ideas on parenting. Mediation can help fix this
Now that you know that your parents are divorcing or separating you may have many different feelings. You may feel upset and angry and worried about the future. There may be confusion, and you may feel that you are stuck in the middle of your parent’s arguments.
You can feel fed up with the arguing. You may also feel that you are very different from all of your friends whose parents are staying together. These feelings are completely normal, but it helps to talk to your parents, friends or Grandparents about these.
Maybe you are missing having your grandparents care for you when your parents are at work – are you worried who will look after you now your parents have split up?
There may be many questions that might go through your mind when you think about what will happen in the future. You may be uncertain that you may have to change schools or to move house.
You may ask if your Mum and Dad still care for you or what will happen if, and when, your Mum and Dad have a new partner. These are very common feelings that most children go through when their parents are divorcing or separating.
It is important that you can keep communicating with people who may be able to help you at this time. There may be members of your family that you can talk to.
You should think about talking to your aunts or uncles, Grandma or Grandad, or other members of your family. You should also think about whether you can talk to any friends of the family,
General information about Mediation, Please click the links below to find out more info:
Family’s are deeply affected by divorce or separation, especially when there are children in the family. Often these painful situations can be helped with the aid of a mediator who will hold a Mediation Intake Assessment Meeting or MIAM. MIAMs can soothe ruffled feelings and ensure that communal assets are divided equally, make sure that financial obligations of both parents are laid out and help to make the break as easy as possible for all the members of the family.
When attending a court proceeding on the matter, the family will need to present an FM1 (Family Mediation 1 form) which confirms that a MIAM has been held.
As of April 2014, significant changes were made to the judicial system regarding separation and divorces, particularly where children were involved. These changes ensure that the welfare of the children is paramount, with minimal impact on the children and as little negativity as possible. One of the major changes was a requirement for a mediation session or MIAM to be attended before any court proceedings to do with financial or custody matters (hence the need for a FM1 to be produced).
If the split is acrimonious and both parties find it difficult to be in the same room, as would happen with face to face mediation, it is possible to ask for shuttle mediation.
Shuttle sessions happen when the two parties are seated in separate rooms and the mediator shuttles between the two, discussing issues and offering solutions.
Shuttle mediation is often a good solution with distance between the parties allowing for rational and reasoned thinking.
Mediation sessions are now a legal requirement, and your ex’s lawyer will make this clear to him or her.
Offering shuttle mediation, in which they will not have to share a room while coming to an agreement, is sometimes a way to make the thought of mediation more palatable.
Mediators can also help with will disputes: resolving issues between heirs and coming to an acceptable compromise in the event that the will is ambiguous or unclearly worded.