The MIAM process
What happens during a MIAM?
It is completely natural to feel uncertain about what happens during a MIAM. The purpose of the meeting is to give you clarity, not to pressure you into immediate decisions about family arrangements or court proceedings.
A MIAM is a private, one-to-one meeting between you and an accredited family mediator. It gives you an opportunity to explain your situation, understand how mediation works and consider whether mediation, or another non-court process, may be suitable.
The other person involved in the dispute does not attend your MIAM. They would only be contacted later if mediation is considered appropriate and you want to explore it further.
Your MIAM is not a joint session and it is not about resolving the dispute there and then. It is an information and assessment meeting designed to help you understand your options and decide on the most appropriate next step.
Before the appointment
What to expect before your MIAM
Your MIAM is a private one-to-one meeting. It will usually last around 45 to 60 minutes. Appointments are often held online, although face-to-face meetings may also be available depending on the mediator’s service and availability.
Before the meeting, you may be asked for some basic information so the mediator can understand the background and prepare properly for the appointment.
This may include:
- The issues in dispute, such as children, finances or property.
- Whether court proceedings have already started.
- Any safety or safeguarding concerns.
This helps the mediator understand your situation and assess what options may be available if you decide to move forward.
During the meeting
What happens during your MIAM meeting?
The meeting itself is structured, but conversational. You will have the chance to explain your circumstances in your own words.
The mediator will usually:
- Explain how mediation works.
- Outline the voluntary nature of mediation.
- Discuss confidentiality and its limits.
- Ask about the issues you want to resolve.
- Explore whether mediation or another non-court process may be suitable.
The mediator is not there to judge you or pressure you. Their role is to listen, explain the process and assess whether mediation is appropriate and safe. If there are concerns about safeguarding, urgency or power imbalance, those issues will be considered carefully.
Suitability
Is mediation always appropriate?
Not every case is suitable for mediation. The MIAM helps assess that properly before anyone is expected to move forward.
The mediator may consider factors such as: the willingness of both people to engage, safety and safeguarding concerns, urgency, the complexity of the dispute and the overall communication dynamic.
Attending a MIAM does not commit you to mediation. It simply gives you the opportunity to consider mediation or another non-court route before deciding what to do next.
After the appointment
What happens after your MIAM?
Following the appointment, one of two main outcomes usually applies.
1. Mediation proceeds. If mediation appears suitable and both people are willing to engage, the next step is usually for the other person to be invited to attend their own MIAM before any joint mediation sessions are arranged.
2. The relevant court form may be completed. If mediation is unsuitable, does not proceed, or the other person does not engage, the mediator may complete the appropriate part of the court form so the MIAM requirement has been addressed where applicable.
Contact and confidentiality
Will the other party be contacted?
If you want to explore mediation, the mediator can then invite the other person to attend their own MIAM.
They are not obliged to take part, but they can be given the opportunity to consider mediation as an option. Your own attendance at a MIAM is not cancelled simply because the other person chooses not to engage.
MIAMs are confidential, subject to safeguarding duties and legal exceptions. These boundaries should be explained clearly during the appointment so you understand how information is handled.
For some people, a MIAM confirms that court is likely to be the next step. For others, it opens the door to mediation and a constructive alternative to court. Either way, the meeting helps you move forward with a clearer understanding of your options.
Take the next step
Book your MIAM with confidence
If you are unsure what happens during a MIAM, the key point is that the meeting is there to give you clarity, not pressure.
You will have a private opportunity to explain your situation, understand your options and decide on the most appropriate next step with professional guidance.